I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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