dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
