The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
