absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
