He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
