yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
