I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Randomize
