Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
