You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
