I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I came so hard my ears popped.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
