Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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