So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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