R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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