it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
