hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
