so explain again why im purple
no
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
