I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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