wat bout pragnant strippers??
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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