did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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