Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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