She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
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