I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
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