a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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