thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Randomize
