Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
