Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
