What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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