How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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