I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Randomize
