are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
