A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I am naked and annoyed.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
