The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize
