Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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