everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
