She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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