my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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