I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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