I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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