we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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