do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
