this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize