Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Randomize
