all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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