I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
