just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
