I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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