i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
