I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I am available for nakedness
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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