insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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