weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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