Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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