i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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