i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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