hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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