You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
it glows. i had to have it.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Randomize