Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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