We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
