You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
