I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize