why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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