oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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