wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
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