please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
