omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
