just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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