You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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