I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
